With shows on MTV about teens having babies, how can I not tackle this issue with some insight? I am the product of a teen pregnancy. Although it happened in the late 60’s, it was still frowned upon. Now truth is - teen pregnancy has been around forever. Even the bible refers to it, and makes one wonder just how old Mary was when she gave birth to Jesus.
WHY TEENS SHOULD NOT HAVE KIDS
When I watch MTV they seem to glamorize teen pregnancy by putting on the screen teens that have the support of their parents and family in making the decision to have their kids. The realistic point of view that I grew up with was not so pretty. Many times I was warned if I got pregnant – I’d be kicked out in the street, and have to live in a shelter. I was luckier than many of my friends who had teen moms. I had an awesome great grandmother who was the standing rock in my life. However, I had to grow up as my parents made mistakes that teens usually made. This hard lesson showed a mother who dated abusive men, and a father who was addicted to drugs while chasing many women.
Today both parents have matured. My father kicked his habits and settled down with an awesome woman. My mother grew up and became a loving grandmother to my kids.
Were we all scarred by this experience? – YES! I grew up way too soon. Lucky me- I always held onto my positive spirit – but it was a fighting spirit. I grew up raising my brother, staying locked in an apartment in a not so good part of town since the age of 4yrs old with my mother working two jobs to make ends meat.
Many people don’t get that about me. They can’t figure out why I’m not one angry chick with lots of baggage. Well, I have been angry – I do have baggage. Only thing is – now I see that as bad as I thought my parents were – they with the help of their family raised a pretty tough, loving, and well adjusted person. Also, the anger I had, I put it behind me - way behind me. I realized that the consumption of anger was like a pain that ate your soul. I decided I wouldn’t hold onto pain – so the anger had to go.
I look back now and thank my mother for the things she did for me. She never had men coming and going in the house – different men that she would make me call dad – like many of my friends teen moms did. My father, had taught me what drugs can do to a person. In his moments of keen reasoning he would tell me why I should never even sample it. I would look at him with only the love a daughter could have for a parent who was messed up – and say to myself “There ain’t no way I’m gonna try that stuff!”
HOW DOES IT HAPPEN?!
Well let’s face it – teens think they are infallible and impulsive. How do I know this – because I was a teen once. I also have 2 teens living in my house right now. Now the excuses for not using birth control are obvious (and I hate to admit that adults still use these same excuses ). It makes me sick – It spoils the mood – she said she was on the pill – that’s a girls problem – He told me he was clean – I didn’t have nothing on me – the codom broke – it’s not mine – it was too dark I thought they were wearing something and the list goes on.
WHEN IT HAPPENS ANYWAY
I’ve witnessed my sister in law and niece have teen pregnancies. I even pondered what I would do if it happened to my kids. I say bring the kid into the world and deal with it. Whether you put it up for adoption, struggle through trying to keep it, or get help from family to raise it. In the end, everything in life seems to work out the way it’s gonna. It’s up to you to learn, grow and strive beyond it.
Just because a teen has a kid, doesn’t mean their life has to end. It means it changes. They have to grow up. Work harder to become what they want and need to become for that little life that didn’t ask to be bought here. No more parties, no more friends, no more fun – and in most cases – no more boyfriend for the girls left in these situations.